I’m doing my master’s degree this year (and hopefully for the next 3 years or so). It’s not something I *want* to do, but it’s something I need to do. I have a few ambitions and I need the foundation to have the flexibility to move into that stuff. Maybe I might get back into medicine (oh god, the debt). Maybe I might be taken a little more seriously. Maybe when I’m putting together a campaign, I’ll actually know what I’m doing. I’ve recognised that I need to keep learning and that I’m good at things I don’t like doing, but that help me provide for myself and my kid.
My study habits are awful and having ADHD doesn’t help either. It also doesn’t help that I hate myself and have weird emotional shit going on in my life that I don’t like talking about which occupies too much of my head. Also, my very low opinion of my intellect probably hinders me as I have no in between — I either think I’m the shit and I get proven horrendously incorrect which sends my self esteem into a spiralling crash which tunnels to several kilometres below the Earth. It’s a stupid cycle which compounds itself. Anyway, here’s my group of methods I like to call (as of 2 seconds ago), Study Hygiene. It’s what used to keep me going in undergrad when I thought I was smart, and hopefully, will keep me going this time round. I did graduate, after all.
1. Recognise that reading isn’t procrastinating and is quite productive.
I have this terrible thing I’ve been doing where I’ve been reading LOTS of stuff, but I think it’s not enough. It’s all relevant too. I’ve been reading case studies and chapters and skimming tables of contents and taking notes. But I don’t work on my actual assignment until the last minute/2 days before due date, which leads me to believe that I’m not being productive and then I beat myself up. I don’t know if this method of validation is going to work. I will let you know.
2. High Intensity Interval Working.
Quite similar to the fitness concept, when working on a thing (say, a 5000 word essay critiquing bullshit), I do 20 minutes focus, 10 minutes social media or doodling. I set a timer and absolutely ignore the time until my buzzer goes off. This works best with my phone on buzz. This also builds self-trust and I start to rely on my judgment. Also, it’s great for leaving outside issues at the door when I get carried away in my interval. If I’m doing creative work at my actual paid job, I do a 1:2 ratio but of smaller units which allows for more break. 5 minutes in, 10 minutes out. It’s more appealing that way and creative work requires a lot more rest, otherwise you get fatigued and run out of brain juice that caffeine can’t create.
3. Health Shit.
Prioritise exercise: Dog and I walked 10k today and I feel amazing. Eating less sugar means a steady level of energy. Red Bull Zero is my weakness when I’m studying or writing, because the peak means optimal enthusiasm. However, the low digs deep and I get really depressed and doubt my own work. Energy via consumption becomes rather existential for me. I like to think food is a small, quick indulgence, but it knocks my brain too much and I feel gross.
4. Sleep. Lots.
I’m not as young as I used to be and I also have waaaaay more responsibilities. Napping is crucial, 8 hours sleep on weekdays, 12 hours in the weekends. 15 minute power naps during the day at 3pm is best. It curbs my cravings for sweet stuff AND is helping me kick my 3.30pm coffee habit, which in turn gives me a shit sleep. I read an article once that said anything more than 20 makes your body shut down. I had a 25 minute nap before I came into the library tonight and I have a massive headache.
5. Don’t doubt what works.
Back to the self deprecating thing. I always do my best work under pressure. Not mind-exploding pressure, but enough of a rush that creates some form of excitement(?). Some shit I can’t do under pressure, eg, research and readings. I just need to employ discipline for that (meds help). But the actual writing bit, once I pull together my references? Piece of piss. It works.
6. More on the sleep stuff.
I’m terrible with lying in bed with my phone in the mornings, so I’ve made this rule that on weekdays, the only thing I do with my phone, in bed, is turn my alarm on and turn my alarm off. Yup. It’s strict, but time slips away from me, even when I have the best intentions. Instagram is so soothing to scroll through, however, being constantly late and stuck in traffic is not soothing.
7. Actually go do some fun stuff.
I’m a boring anti-social person and I’ve been shocking with not catching up with mates. In fact, the only time I see people I need to catch up with is in random places. So I need to do that.
8. Employ some systems segregation.
When I’m studying I have 2 browser windows: One for leisure and one for study. When I’m taking notes in class, I have my screen split — one for the referenced readings and one for notes. I always take more notes than is necessary and I’ve not once regretted it.
Also, as a weird mental thing, in lectures I always have a small A5 notebook and a pen in my hand even when I know I won’t need it, not just because I nearly always do, but whenever my head spirals into pictoral or abstract thought, I unconsciously doodle. I think about my consciousness as a constantly spinning disc that skips if I have a chunk missing. That chunk is tangibility (thanks, professional cooking). I need to have a tool (usually a pen) in my hand to fool it into forming something tangible immediately. I’ve gotten to a point in my head where I can make it into something useful, like a mindmap or a symbolic illustration of theories and concepts being discussed. If nothing else, it’s good to fidget quietly to keep that small part of my brain occupied. Holding a pen is also kind of like a cork for my brain, it allows me to retain information. It’s great. Pens are wonderful. #adhdtipz
9. Always rebel against something (#notaTEDtalk).
I do my best reading & comprehension at night when I’m supposed to be going to bed, I do my best writing when I’m supposed to be in bed. I like to rebel against my own life. I also do my most resourceful grocery shopping at 4am on payday when nobody is around.
For some stupid reason, my best work is done when I’m supposed to be doing something else. It’s this weird complex I have leftover from when I was a kid. My parents never really liked anything I did independently of them (long story), so I suppose there is still some kind of magic in going against things. I’ve learnt to use this to my advantage and skew it to hone my enthusiasm of which there is often nil. It’s a minor depression thing. When I get too depressed I can’t do anything, but that’s a story for another time.
Anyway, I’m off to employ all this garbage. Perhaps I’ll write more later maybe.
